Richard V. Dowden, M.D., C.M., F.A.C.S.

Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery

Cosmetic and Plastic Surgery, Inc.
6770 Mayfield Road, Suite 410
(Mayfield Heights) Cleveland, Ohio 44124
(440) 449-7470

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about
breast enlargement through-the-navel ( TUBA ):

The man in my life is acting strange about my breast augmentation - why?

I am neither marriage-counsellor nor psychiatrist. But I can share what I have learned over the past 2-plus decades of doing breast augmentations for thousands of women, plus some insights that come from being a male myself. Most men are pretty supportive of the idea, but most men have some concerns, even if it is all too far below the surface to be realized or admitted. What you describe is very common, and very explainable in terms of the male psyche.

First of all, nearly all of the women who request breast enlargement do so because they themselves want the result; it is rare for a woman to want to have the surgery just because her partner wants her to (and reputable plastic surgeons would decline to operate under that circumstance). In fact the optimal male attitude is probably something like this: reassuring the woman that he likes her the way she is, that he does not want that she have implants for his sake, and that he will be supportive of her decision to have the operation.

Having said that, it is necessary to look into the typical male mind. I hope any readers of this can forgive the over-generalization and over-simplification. The male mind is, in general, quite self-oriented and possessive, and at least a bit insecure. The problem begins with the self-oriented attitude that the world revolves around us males, and then gets made worse by the possessiveness, then compounded by insecurity. Picture this imaginary conversation taking place in the male brain (these may not apply to every man, but for many they do) but entirely subconscious where the man is not even aware of it going on:

    Picture this imaginary subconscious sequence in the male mind:
  1. "Everything in life must somehow relate to me."
  2. "Everything a woman does in terms of appearance relates to some man."
  3. "If not for me, everything probably relates to some other man."
  4. "I can't think of any other reason for implants other than for physical attractiveness."
  5. "She must be wanting implants to be more physically attracting."
  6. "I've made it clear to her that she doesn't need to do this for me."
  7. "If she still wants to do it, she could be doing it for another man"
  8. "Has she met someone else, or is she hoping to meet someone?"
  9. "I think I'd better resist this implant idea."
  10. "I think I'll just brood about this."

The foregoing may sound silly, but when there are problems surrounding augmentation, there is likely some glimmer of truth of the above in terms of most men's instinctive feelings in there somewhere. Again, this surgery is the woman's decision, and hers alone. But perhaps she still wants him to understand really why she wants it. So what can a woman to do to educate the man? One of the best ways to start is to help the man become more aware of the Buying Clothing Issue. Men are usually pretty oblivious to the frustration a woman feels when her upper body size is different from her lower body size. When men buy shirts we don't try them on; if the number is right, and we like the color, we just buy it. Men don't usually have to find one-piece outfits or sets, so we just don't have the same problems. So, take your man with you shopping for dresses etc. Show him each of the things you would love to wear but can't even consider. That may help.

Reassurance, strong and often, may be required to soothe the insecurity factors. You will probably be saying the same things over and over, but that is sometimes all it will take. Then after the operation, your and your man may discover, as so many have, why they say that a confident woman is extremely attractive. For more discussion of male reaction to their partner's implants, see How do men react to implanted breasts?

Disclaimer:
The foregoing is strictly my personal opinion, and does not necessarily represent the opinion of the ISP website providers, or anyone else for that matter!


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6770 Mayfield Road, Suite 410
(Mayfield Heights) Cleveland, Ohio 44124
(440) 449-7470

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Last Update: 7:27 PM on 01/01/2009
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